Ride Captain Ride

It shouldn’t be news to anyone that tragedy hit some of our city’s finest a little more than 5 months ago. It’s especially not news to my family, who knew about it long before it was broadcasted. It’s not news that it greatly affected the KCFD brotherhood. That it affected the city — really, the country. It’s not news that my family, and so many others, has never cried so much together. That it brought my mom, my sisters and me back down to the realities that firefighting is much more than a job.

Because how many of us can say we’d give our lives for something that was.

Firefighting is a lifestyle. John and Larry knew that better than most.

I couldn’t write this blog post without first mentioning that.


My dad started the Kansas City Fire Academy on March 25, 1991, so my sisters and I don’t know a life without firefighting.  

My mom actually snuck out of the hospital after having THREE babies at the same time to attend my dad’s KCFD graduation ceremony. Hospital bracelet and all. What a rebelliously supportive woman.

My brother was 2 at the time, so he made it to the graduation as well (pretty positive he and my mom carpooled), and that's why he’s my dad’s favorite kid.

Kidding. Probably.

Anyway, here’s the cutest little pic from that day. Actually, the cutest pic of all time. Good god. This was probably taken after Wade resolved his being afraid of the fire trucks and right before he decided he wanted to be a firefighter.

… or so goes the account of that day. As you can remember, we were days old and left in the hospital unattended. Basically forgotten while my family celebrated. I’m actually quite surprised my mom even came back for us.

Anyway, this isn’t about that.  

I frequently get asked if it’s scary to have my dad (and now my brother too) fight fire, and that’s the thing with growing up around it. It’s normal, it’s typical, it’s every third day. You have to look at it like a job, no matter how hard that is to do.

Of course, it’s like the coolest damn job on the face of the earth — although, mom, dad would admit that raising four babies was much, much harder. (Also, let’s go back to the fact you didn’t run when you could’ve. Thank you.)

My mama, the giver that she is, knew how much we liked to visit my dad at Station 17s (where he spent 12 years driving Truck 2), or she viewed it as a free form of babysitting. Either way, she would take us to see him on his shift.

Let me tell you, those guys were the best “babysitters” we ever had.

Not Ashley, Lindsey, Courtney, Sophia, Tiffany or Katie (is that a lot of babysitters? that sounds like a lot of babysitters) let us have dough-ball fights in the kitchen, chair races down the hallway, play H.O.R.S.E 16 times in a row or climb all over big rigs while asking thousands of senseless questions.

“What’s this really sharp thing do?”

“Can I wear your helmet?”

“Is this the compartment with the really cold water?”

“Would you like to have a Dalmatian dog?”

“Dad, can we have a Dalmatian dog?”

For the record, Wade’s questions were more intelligent.

Of course, this was my dad’s time away from the chaotic foursome that are his children, so after approximately 42 minutes, he would always say the same thing: “Alright. Time to load up.”

He would essentially kick us out. Actually, there was no “essentially” about it.

He absolutely kicked us out.

My dad, who I assumed missed us while he was working his 24-hour shift, would tell us to leave. It was like, “your question-asking limit was reached 41 minutes ago, I’ve had patience up until now, time for you to go.”

We laugh about it now — mostly because he still does it when we “overstay” our welcome for Sunday night family dinners at the Headquarters.

Old dog. Same tricks.

Looking back I feel so lucky to have even had those 42 minutes at the fire station every so often. To get a glimpse into the brotherhood that exists. To know my dad’s second family. To hear stories about how hard of a worker my dad was on the roof and how he knew the roads so well that with him driving they’d be first on the scene.

Honestly, how lucky were we that we sold our Girl Scout cookies to the men that protect our city? That some of those very guys came to our track meets in high school. That we get to see their kids grow up now. Or even better, that my brother gets to call these guys his coworkers, his brothers.

This is a family that my dad has had for 25 years. Twenty-five years today. That means retirement. It could be today, tomorrow or when my mom is ready to have him home all the time… or, really, whenever my sister Evan’s medical insurance kicks in.

I can’t think of a harder working man than my dad. Or someone who deserves to be celebrated more. For he not only gave so much to the fire department in those 25 years but in return gave so much to our family.

Congrats to you, Dad! You did it. And you did it so damn well. 

So Santa is Real, Right?

OK. OK. So obviously Santa’s not real — I’ve known that for a few years now, c’mon who do you think I am? But truthfully, isn’t the holiday season just a little more fun when you pretend to believe? I think yes.

I even get my mind to leap hurdles to do so; the fact my parent’s house, where my siblings and I still go on Christmas morning, has a glass fireplace that Santa would get trapped in is just a minor detail.

If I can do it, you can too.

Believe it or not (haha, pun), the biggest believer in my family is my dad. I have never ever heard him say that Santa is not real.

When my English teacher in the sixth grade broke the news to everyone in class that Santa wasn’t real, like it was common knowledge or something, I turned to my trustworthy father knowing he’d tell me the truth.

I assumed he’d sit me down and explain the reindeer and the presents. The elves and the cookies.

But instead, my dad was shocked that I had mentioned such an absurd thing.

“Of course, Santa is real, honey!”

My dad’s holiday spirit probably hit its peak in 1999 when he went to great lengths to make sure my sisters, my brother and I were keeping the spirit alive.

Christmas 1999

On Christmas Eve, per tradition, we laid out the iced sugar cookies, a coffee cup full of milk and 9 carrots for the reindeer.

[Not an important detail, but I just realized that my dad has a bit of lactose intolerance. Where’d the milk go, DAAAAAD?!]

We woke up early on Christmas morning; we could never sleep past 6 a.m. when presents were just sitting in our living room waiting for us. We were itching to get out to see what Santa brought (gifts from him were always laid out and not wrapped, which made for quick elatedness and less work for my mom).

This year, my mom told us to bundle up — we had a surprise waiting outside.

Once we were in our heavy coats, snow boots and hats, we were led out past the Christmas tree and presents, through the candy cane forest and out onto the snowy back deck.

My dad told us to look up.

Santa had left large sleigh marks on the roof. His boot footprints (coincidently the same size 12 as my dad’s) flattened the powdery snow. There were hoof prints from Donner, Dasher and the gang, and they must’ve been in a real hurry because bites of carrots were scattered about.  

There weren’t ladder marks on the deck indicating my dad had climbed up there. There weren’t steps from where the ladder should’ve deposited him on the roof. There was no evidence pointing to a Willsey family member of any sort.

Next logical answer was so obviously Santa (and at the time, that was the first logical answer, actually).

This is the reason I believed in Santa significantly longer than my classmates.

And now, 16 years later, if I ask my dad how he pulled off the mega Santa Surprise of 1999, he’d play dumb.

“What do you mean? Santa always lands on the roof,” he’d say.

Yes, Dad. He sure does.  

 

The Fanny Pack Adventures

It all started with coffee spilled on a white tank. That’s pre-fast-paced NYC. So is there really an excuse? Feel free to ask my darling sis, Dana. She’s kept us from nice things for years. 

D and I had a very adult trip after that. We boarded the plane, chose the worst seats, which were surrounded by a loud sixth grade dance team, fell asleep before we could use our free drink tickets and took too many out-of-the-plane photos for any self-respecting 24-year-old.  

But our adventures truly started when we grabbed our luggage, walked out into the LaGuardia hustle and bustle, ran into a family friend — made awkward conversation — got ourselves an Uber, asked the Uber driver 300 too many questions, survived the 25-minute drive through the overpopulated streets of Manhattan and arrived in Times Square at our Hilton Garden Inn Hotel.

Whew. 

Evan greeted us on the ground floor; she was already there on a work trip, so she was Ms. Cool-Calm-Collected about the chaos — basically immune after 96 hours spent on the streets.

Thank you, Mama, for giving us this savior. She took us, the starved travelers, to dinner.

And that’s where we learned New York Lesson Numero Uno.

The city, as a whole from my understanding, does not split checks by what you ate. It either gets split evenly no matter what you ordered or someone picks up the whole bill. For the sister who writes for a living, this was disappointing news for my bank account. Either roll high or not at all. Tough decisions, New York, tough decisions.

Our second New York lesson was about being tourists. 

Should we look cute touring the city or comfortable? Pretty or practical? We embraced tourist status and rocked tennies, fanny packs and City Bikes.  

This all took place in the Upper East Side — basically the trendiest, highest-end neighborhood in all of Manhattan. Did we look trendy? Not as on trendy as the beautiful Australian couple touring around on their City Bikes.

Were the fanny packs at least practical? It could hold only my ID, my credit card, cash (to make Dad proud) and my sunglasses.

So simply put, no, they weren’t all that practical. We looked like dweebs. 

Truth: we set the standard low for triplets taking on Central Park. There wasn’t even a second look. You’re welcome. YOU. ARE. WELCOME.

Our third most important NYC lesson came in the form of boozy brunch.

We flew out on the Fourth of July, a Saturday, but not until 6 p.m. And when in New York, you do as New Yorkers do. You brunch. And you brunch like you’ve done it a hundred times, but this is definitely — most definitely — the best time.

We found ourselves at Big Daddy’s, a diner with an eclectic, if not crammed, ’80s feel. With $15 bottomless mix-and-match mimosas and Bloody Mary’s, you can imagine the trouble one could get into.

And trouble we did.

Boozy brunch on a normal Saturday where you get to climb into bed and nap — magnificent. Boozy brunch when you have to go through security, wait in an airport and fly home — horrendous.

The only goal of the day once hangover status hit was to wear my sunglasses from the time I stepped into the airport until the time Greg picked us up in KC. Mission accomplished. Goal completed. Easily my greatest success.  

People hated me. I hated myself.

And that basically sums up our entire trip.

Waiters disliked when we asked for split checks. New Yorkers threw shade on our “trendy” fanny packs. Airport-goers judged the crap outta my sunglass-wearing ways.

Truthfully, it felt like the city was trying to reject us. But we did not let that bring the spirit of our trio tribe down. We'll just have to try harder next time. 

Because New York, there will be a next time. Keep your eyes on the Midwest because when you see us again, we'll be prepared. 

My Most Interesting Fact

You know those first-day-of-anything-introduce-yourself sessions? Most of the time you have to say your name, what school you attended and a fun fact about yourself.

I’ve been getting off easy.

Amy Willsey. MU. Identical triplet.

But the truth is I’ve been lying for years. Being an identical triplet isn’t the most interesting thing about me. Sure, I guess it is pretty neat. And it does evoke the reaction one hopes when giving an interesting fact to a bunch of strangers.

“No way!”

“Tell us more.”

“Are you serious?”

It’s also great that a single fact excuses all my annoying personality traits right up front: always speaking in “we,” my co-dependent lifestyle and my inability to have successful friendships outside my bloodline.

But if I were being honest all those years, starting at 16, my interesting fact would not just be that I’m an identical triplet — it’d be that as an identical triplet, I shared a car with my two sisters for seven years.  

I feel like people would be downright impressed with my ability to share. They’d also obviously assume I’m a great team player; therefore, I’d be recruited first for group projects.

Just two months before our sweet 16 it was decided that E, D and I would share a single automobile for an indefinite amount of time.

My parents were all like, “You guys do everything together so you can share a car and just go everywhere together, too. Power in numbers.”

And we were all like, “Do you want us to have unhealthy heavily reliant relationships?”

My sisters and I shared a ’99 Chevy Blazer for those seven years.  Yes, the most significant seven years of a young girl’s life: high school and college.

Barnaby, as we lovingly called him, really saw it all — car paint when Tyler asked Evan to the Homecoming dance, the front-end of Wade’s car when Dana reversed into it in the driveway, the drives across I-70 to MU and back.  

It was like an only child with three loving parents. Barnaby got all the attention and all the love. (It was irrelevant that the driver’s door was off its hinges, that it sounded like a diesel truck when it idled or that it started shaking at 80 mph.)

As the three parents, we often fought for custody and child support in the form of gas money.

It truly is an incredible survival story.  One that I wish to tell the next time I'm asked for an interesting fact.


I’d hate to leave any questions unanswered, so for those wondering: Barnaby was replaced in May 2014 by three new-car smelling, smooth driving SUV impostors.

But that’s not where this story ends. We didn’t know anything about driving alone, as a single, through the rough streets of KCMO. It was so ingrained that we shared a car that Evan and Dana actually carpooled to their respective jobs for a few months this summer.

Old habits die hard.

As we’ve settled into the reality of driving our own cars, we’ve learned a few new things:

1. Buying your own gas and not splitting it three ways makes for heftier credit card statements.

2. New cars are needy. You’ve got to give it baths regularly, you can’t kick the door shut with cowboy boots on, you mustn’t eat cereal and milk in the backseat, etc.

3. Not having a passenger and backseat driver makes driving much more of a responsibility. Also, no one likes backseat drivers so our relationship is stronger than ever.

But the most important lesson learned thus far, in the 9 months Eddie the Edge has been with me, is that I’m 99 percent positive that my dad let the three of us drive an unsafe car for five of those seven years.

Tomboys Have More Fun

There’s no doubt in my mind that having sons, or even a single son before daughters will somehow affect the rest of your offspring.

Let’s just say I know from experience.

Starting the batting order with a boy won’t leave you with little princesses who love pink. It is, however, the perfect recipe to make up some tomboy daughters — older brothers are very, very influential.

I don’t think my mom knew what she was getting when the doctor broke the news that she was having triplet girls.

I imagine she first saw fear, which was followed by images of bows, tutus, exclusive tea parties and lots of tears. Instead she got backward hats, jean shorts, competitive sports and wrestling matches to solve any issue, which in turn induced fear.

Growing up, Evan, Dana and I did a lot of things that were probably frowned upon for girls. When asked why we did them, the answer was usually the same: “Well, Wade does it.”

We would mimic Wade’s actions, style, language and essentially his entire way of life. 

He was probably constantly annoyed, or what’s that old saying? “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” Yeah, you’ll have to ask him how true that statement rings. Experience tells me his feelings weren't of the flattery variety. 

There was the year (read: 2 years) that we wore work boots every damn day. Summer didn’t stop us; we just paired our Timberlands (I wish we were that ahead of the trend) with shorts. We exuded class. 

Looking back, they were probably my most practical shoe to date. 

The surface hasn't even been scratched on how deep the tomboy life runs. 

My childhood consisted of building forts, playing backyard baseball, making friends only with the best kickball playing guys on the playground and throwing temper tantrums when dresses were laid out.

Sorry, mom. About these things and oh so much more.

For the record, we did try to be girls for a little while. We talked my mom in to enrolling us in cheer class. That was fun for the sole purpose of annoying my dad and brother with repetitive chanting five, six, 12 times in a row. 

I’d just hate for anyone to think we didn’t give being girly-girls a fair shot.

I’d say we weighed our options, maybe made a pros/cons list and then ultimately decided tree houses were cooler than dollhouses and mud under the nails was better than paint on top of them. 

For any concerned mothers out there, the tomboy way of life comes recommended from three out of three Willsey daughters. And we turned out fine ... right?