We made it a year!
And people say the first year of marriage is the hardest — or at least someone somewhere told me that (or something close to that) once. The thing is, we wouldn’t know because this is all we know.
But being that we have made it one FULL year, it feels like maybe we just might be experts on holy matrimony.
And with that, it’d be selfish to keep all the knowledge we’ve learned to ourselves. The VPs are nothing if not giving.
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MARRIAGE IS A PROMISE.
The sooner you realize the “I do’s” are a commitment and not a contract, the better off you are. Did I vow to watch playoff hockey? Yes. Did I watch any playoff hockey? NOPE. Does Greg love me any less? Probably. But if he wanted me to follow through, the St. Louis Blues should’ve tried harder.
MARRIAGE MAKES YOU BETTER.
Your spouse is constantly trying to make you the best you and it’s easiest to think of everything through that lens. So when he sweetly does all BUT one of the dishes after you cook, it’s only because he knows you love getting a few extra pseudo-steps on your watch by scrubbing a dish right before bed. He's sweet like that.
MARRIAGE CAN BE BUILT ON LIES.
Confessing to your parents that you and your wife ate edibles is never not a bad idea… especially when the reason you told them is because the high kicked in and made you paranoid they’d be suspicious of you sitting in the car with sunglasses on at dusk. They aren’t. And you shouldn’t. And your wife might be upset that she was thrown under the bus with you.
MARRIAGE MEANS SHARING.
Marriage and engagement and living together all feel the same. The only difference is that you now share a last name, which is difficult to get used to. But don’t say that over and over again to your husband who has happily had that name his whole life and feels an attachment to it. And do not, under any circumstance, say, “TWO LAST NAMES IS TOO MANY. CAN I JUST BE AMY VAN?” They don’t like that kind of thing, apparently.
MARRIAGE IS A LOT LIKE TAKING A PADDLE TO THE FACE.
Two days after we vowed to support and love one another, we went ahead and took the metaphorical “for better or worse” and made it literal. As we were bouncing along class 45 rapids while white water rafting, Greg flew into the air and lost control of his paddle… which made direct contact with my jaw. HARD. And that’s pretty much what marriage is: A paddle to the mother-puppin’ face and a death stare the whole river felt.
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But here’s the real thing we learned: Nothing and nobody can prepare you for marriage.
It brings out the best in you — and the worst.
It feels magnificent some days and insignificant the next.
It makes you dependent and also long for nights alone.
It’s confusing and all-consuming.
And it’s the best decision we’ve ever made.